No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
