i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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