I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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