Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
