I didn't shave. On purpose
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Randomize
