Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
