I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
