so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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