I can text with my tongue
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
