so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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