People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
