You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I didn't notice because vodka
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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