How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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