You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
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we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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