dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
