I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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