I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize