Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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