your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
