haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
