now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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