OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
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I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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