I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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