Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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