Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
