Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
