Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
