Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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