They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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