Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
