You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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