She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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