So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
