Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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