Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize