question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You are the jesus of drinking
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
