Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
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Do I have a choice?
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Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize