Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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