Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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