Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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