The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize