He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
