i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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