I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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