That's when you crack a 10am beer
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
