Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Randomize
