Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
