she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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