Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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