shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Hippo gnu deer
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
