Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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