Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
