You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
