Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
