Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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