So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
