hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
