I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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